Attitude drives Action
Action drives Results
Results drives Lifestyle
I was on a conference call yesterday and was quasi-paying attention because the first 5 minutes of the call had me wondering why I bothered registering for the call. And then the statement above was uttered by the moderator. A lightbulb went off and I found myself glued to the phone. Though the call was really more about increasing one's business, there were areas that crossed over to a person's personal life. Another topic of conversation touched on a persons unwillingness to make decisions and how that decision will crush you personally and professionally. The lightbulb went off. I no longer have the option of being unwilling to make decisions about my life. The days have turned into months and the months have turned into a year plus. It is time to let go of the mateiral things that I have held on to for so long in fear of losing my connection to my late husband. I have to believe that the memories we created and the love we shared will remain in my heart for the rest of my life. The connection isn't in the house or the land or belongings we owned. Granted some of those belongings will stay with me but it is time to let the property go. I am killing myself trying to maintain those things. The stress of letting him down, our families down, and the pure thought of failure is more stress than I can bear.
I spent so much of 2010 living in fear and pessimism that I forgot how important it is to be thankful what I do have. Somehow, I must fight to see the bright side of each situation that comes my way otherwise 2011 is going to be a long year.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Welcome to 2011
Well, here we are January 2011. I spent the first day of the new year ill so I've already managed to break my first resolution, which was to publish the blog. I am doing this for myself and not so much for others to read about my journey. I would like to end 2011 and look back to see what kind of progress has been made over the course of the year. I have tried writing in a journal but to no avail. My hand shakes so much these days that it stresses me out to see my terrible handwriting so I have opted to go this route instead.
The latter part of 2009 was a blur and 2010 was well, a bit of a disaster from a personal and professional standpoint. There was so much heartache and sadness that it felt like I was a walking zombie at times. You've heard the term "fake it until you make it"? Well, I faked it an awful lot during those seventeen months. I put on "the face" and tried to convince everyone that everything was okay. It wasn't and I don't know that I fooled anyone really.
I would be remiss if I didn't say there were many wonderful things that happened along with all the terrible things. My daughter and son-in-law returned from England safe and sound and PREGNANT! They were thoughtful enough to spend their first Christmas as a married couple with MB (Momma Bean). My son made tremendous strides that required very difficult life decisions and uprooted himself from his long-time girlfriend, her children and his father in order to be closer to his little girl, my granddaughter, Maiya. I adopted my beautiful dog, Shadow from the VASPCA. He was and continues to be a gift from God. He got me through that dark and difficult time and gave me a reason to get out of bed every day. There were many people who were there for me especially the first few months of my loss but without Shadow to care for each and every day, I honestly don't know where I would be today. was introduced to my business partner and am looking forward to a productive and profitable business relationship. Last but certainly not least, Kade Chris Korzilius was born. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken from us. (Job 1:21) I am still trying to put my arms around this but I promised I would be open and honest..so there you go.
The latter part of 2009 was a blur and 2010 was well, a bit of a disaster from a personal and professional standpoint. There was so much heartache and sadness that it felt like I was a walking zombie at times. You've heard the term "fake it until you make it"? Well, I faked it an awful lot during those seventeen months. I put on "the face" and tried to convince everyone that everything was okay. It wasn't and I don't know that I fooled anyone really.
I would be remiss if I didn't say there were many wonderful things that happened along with all the terrible things. My daughter and son-in-law returned from England safe and sound and PREGNANT! They were thoughtful enough to spend their first Christmas as a married couple with MB (Momma Bean). My son made tremendous strides that required very difficult life decisions and uprooted himself from his long-time girlfriend, her children and his father in order to be closer to his little girl, my granddaughter, Maiya. I adopted my beautiful dog, Shadow from the VASPCA. He was and continues to be a gift from God. He got me through that dark and difficult time and gave me a reason to get out of bed every day. There were many people who were there for me especially the first few months of my loss but without Shadow to care for each and every day, I honestly don't know where I would be today. was introduced to my business partner and am looking forward to a productive and profitable business relationship. Last but certainly not least, Kade Chris Korzilius was born. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken from us. (Job 1:21) I am still trying to put my arms around this but I promised I would be open and honest..so there you go.
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